What “The Real” Meant to Me
Can I be real with yall? (pun intended) When I first started this piece, I was going to name it “The Downfall of ‘The Real’” in response to the show announcing that it would be canceled. I was going to detail all the reasons why The Real “fell off” for me and others. I was going to go into the host changes, the live audience changes, the drama, and so much more.
But then I thought about it and asked myself this question: “Why would I want to beat up on one of my favorite shows?” So let’s restart…
I remember when The Real first started. Every afternoon, I would come home after school, log on to YouTube and watch all the two-minute clips to soak up what I could about the show. I loved watching my girls, Adrienne Bailon and Tamera Mowry-Housley, laugh, entertain, and converse with the other women and the audience. Admittedly, at first, I only watched The Real to support Adrienne and Tamera. But as I continued to watch clip after clip, I found myself laughing out loud at Jeannie’s stories, Tamar’s shade, and Loni’s one-liners.
It was easy for me to become invested and obsessed with a show like The Real for a few reasons. To start, it’s obvious where the show’s creators and producers were coming from. They wanted a show to expand beyond typical white-centered voices. They wanted to produce a show that celebrated the thoughts and culture of women of color and black women (BIWOC). This is one of the first mainstream daytime talk shows to showcase this using a diverse panel of women. This was the first thing that piqued my interest.
Furthermore, not only was this show Black and POC centered, but it was woman-centered. I’ve always been a girl’s girl, and I’ve enjoyed shows that focused on femininity, feminism, and being a woman. Oddly enough even in my teenage years, I’ve always liked to watch women discuss issues. (Like forreal, I used to watch The View on my days off from school.) But on The Real, it was something about sitting there watching these glammed-up Black, Latina, and Asian women that made me feel like I was watching the movie Beauty Shop or better yet… like I was in one myself. Their conversations, reactions, jokes, and looks all reminded me of watching my mama and aunties get together on one of those random Saturdays at my Aunt Tammy’s hair shop and talk. Half of the time, I didn’t even know what the topic was on, but the energy I felt at that shop was special.
As a teenager and young adult, watching The Real brought back that same feeling, except this time I knew what they were talking about. Even when I didn’t relate to it, I felt like I could learn from them.
Every single one of the hosts at the table grew along with their viewers. When watching other talk shows, you may feel as though they are the teachers and you are the student — like they are trying to teach you something. It’s almost expected. But with The Real, their vulnerability and honesty made me feel like we were going through life together. I can learn from them as they make mistakes, and (if I was bold enough), I could send my own dilemmas in and ask them for their own advice.
To go even deeper, The Real provided a grown-up example and a safe haven for me to be myself. As I watched the show, I couldn’t help but find myself in Tamera and Jeannie. Tamera was more of a quiet, laid-back, somewhat conservative, woman of God (who gets ghe-to!). While Jeannie was a loud, fun, wild woman of God who is a great (long-winded) storyteller. I’m a happy mix between the two.
As I watched these two women on the show, I watched how they spoke and how they were spoken to. I watched how they treated others and how they were treated. Most importantly, I watched and listened to what they’ve learned in their life from being themselves. By watching these women, I learned the art of being who you are unapologetically and not allowing anyone to taint that no matter how they may feel about you. Owning who you are and walking in that no matter what room you’re in makes you the most powerful because you are not dictated by how others move, just by how you move. Tamera and Jeannie taught me this the most because I could tell by how they were treated by the fans and, at times, by their own cohosts.
The friendship on The Real really drew me in every episode, specifically in seasons 4 and 5. Although all of the hosts were great in their own right, the chemistry between Loni, Adrienne, Jeannie, and Tamera left a true impact on me and how I could search for friends. Their on-air (and off-air) friendships helped me realize a few things, but the main lesson is that your friends need to be diverse enough for growth. I mean this both physically, racially, and personality-wise. These four women did not all look alike or think alike, and because of their differences, they were able to learn from one another. Even when they completely disagreed or had heated discussions, I believe that there was something the viewers could take away from those moments. Notice these four women never walked off the set, cussed each other out, or blatantly disrespected each other while on the air. Sure they may not have always been positive, but the love and mutual respect were there. And to be honest, I don’t think we’ll ever get that on group daytime television again.
The last thing that meant the most to me, and something that I’ll truly miss, was the FUN that The Real provided for their hosts and audience. Even though I never made it to set (and I hate that I never got the chance to), I could sit at home watching and have the same amount of fun. Every challenge, every quiz, every *screams like Jeannie* FAKE IT ORRRRRRRR TAKE IT!! the show did provide us with some of the best laughs and moments from the entire show. They made us at home feel like we were just as much in the room as they were, and it’s an unmatched feeling.
Thank You Ladies!
I appreciate everything that the cast and crew provided for viewers like me. The Real wasn’t just a silly daytime talk show it was a diverse, safe space for vulnerability, honesty, lessons, laughter, love, and life. It showed that life doesn’t have just one straight path to one destination. It can have many paths to many destinations related to your one calling. Although The Real was a major destination for Loni, Adrienne, Jeannie, Tamera, Tamar, Amanda, and Garcelle, what they’ve gathered from the show has set the pathway to new things. Ladies, I am so proud of you. Thank you for growing up with me over the last nine years.
“We always said that we were like ‘The Little Show that Could’ and we did.”
— Adrienne Bailon Houghton on #TheReal