Twenty-somethings.
When I look back over the last two years, all I can think of is that we are in the year twenty-something. Everything that has happened to me within this new decade feels like a blur. From the loss of my pet to my father being in the hospital to a pandemic, to a life-changing surgery that ultimately led to…. well, we’ll get to that later.
Nobody:
Me, every day thinking: “And you mean to tell me this happened in the last two years??”
Literally, in the middle of that sentence, you find the word pandemic. While I had a whirlwind of bad news behind me and a storm of life-altering news ahead of me, somehow I found calmness in a pandemic. I’m not sure how we got here, but all of a sudden, I was left with myself in this thing called quarantining. In theory, the idea of finally being able to stay at home and away from my responsibilities outside of my home seemed enticingly good. It was the end of a very tiring school year and honestly, I could use a break. Plus, I’m an introvert, so what harm could staying at home cause?
Turns out, a lot more than usual.
My days went from waking up at five o’clock a.m. (still rushing to get to school by 7:30 — I like to enjoy my mornings) to turning over my covers at 7:58 a.m. to make sure my Google Classroom assignments were posted properly at 8:00 a.m.
I used to struggle to pick out my outfits for work. Now I only had to worry about keeping everything between my torso to my head tidy, while wearing the same pajama bottoms for four days straight. I could shower when I wanted to or… if I wanted to. I could eat whenever. I wasn’t obligated to work out. I mean who cared anyway? I was home. I wasn’t going anywhere. I could do whatever I want, be whoever I want, make whatever I want, just as long as I was home…
“TO FREEDOM!” I would say.
Next thing you know… days went by, then weeks, then months. The big two-five (25) came… and went…. The next school year, I was back at work in my building (yet working virtually), but I made sure to go right back home afterward because, you know, ✨ pandemic ✨. Loungewear and pajamas were my best friends. I was still picking up drive-up orders, trying to avoid people at all costs. Only came out of my home to do necessary things like vote or protest. Scrolling on social media was my way of socializing. Participating in the discourse of social justice infographics, tik-tok dances, and not dreaming of labor. I was doing all of this not realizing that as I was scrolling on my phone, so were the days and nights of my life.
Now, we are here. I’ve realized under all these pajamas, I’ve lost myself. I’ve completely disregarded who I used to be for the lazier, pandemic version of who I’ve become. And now I’m fighting a battle trying to destroy both previous versions for a newer, never-before-seen, untouched version of who I could — strike that — will be.
Twenty-six is finally here, and I’m not subscribing myself to another year of twenty-somethings, unsure of who I am or what’s next for me. Pandemic or not, my life deserves defining and refining. It deserves to be reshaped to whatever form I want it to be. We all know that time has never been on our side. Therefore, I need to use whatever time I have left on this earth to figure out what is on my side and bask in it.
God Bless these twenty-somethings.
Because what’s coming up will be the life I least expected but deserve the most.
@sedecramarcedes
Originally posted on: https://www.sedecramarcedes.com/blog-2/